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His decision to work at home sure puts the kibosh on my week. In my struggle is in jockeying all these hats I wear. He does almost nothing around the house, but will if I ask him to on occasion. We’re constantly in the same space right now, but with minimal physical contact. Going to bed inherently means physical contact, and that’s comforting.
The idea of “third places” originated as a way to strengthen a sense of community, something we’re all desperately lacking during social distancing. But they also bring an innate level of personal satisfaction. I am not used to having Husband here while I work from home.
Staying Connected
We are under a lot of financial pressure, so I find myself getting jealous when he goes out for dinner and drinks nightly with his co-workers and I’m home eating leftovers. I do go out once in a while, with his mother, but that’s about it. And what doesn’t help is that he is not contacting me as much as I would like him too. That depresses me and then I do wail and whine to the Lord. I greatly dislike the idea of him traveling away and I didn’t much enjoy going to BEA last year in part because it meant a separation.
I’m so worried and am counting the days of the year praying that this one year will come to pass faster.. I’m glad God was able to use this to help others. In myself I don’t think I could do that, but whatever God calls us to He enables us for.
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So i thought i’d google a group for women going through the same challenges she is. We keep in touch every day by texts, or e-mails when i have no service, and i call atleast 3 times a week. I can say from my experience, it is extremely hard for us men too. For our partners at home, the luxury of being able to visit family and friends could be taken for granted. Believe me it is not nice being away from home but if any of us had to do it i would rather it be me as i wouldn’t want her to be away from the comfort and support of family and friends.
Getting outside helps you at least regain a second place. I can get community from a Zoom happy hour with friends, and it’s awesome–but I’m doing it from my office, which is part of my home and thus both my first and second space. Some of you are stuck in a small space with just two people.
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This is one of the many problems with Husband working from home (or partner of any type!). Work from home challenges are real enough when you don’t have another person invading what feels like YOUR space. Since Husband and I are both working from home right now, I’ve compiled a list of tips based on questions you asked to help couples working from home.
I belong to my church choir, which is good, but I am not very social or one to talk much abt myself, or my situation, I have no family right around here, and my co-workers are co-workers. Just finding this forum and typing this out seems to be helping I think. It is very hard, especially with young children. I hope you can connect with some other ladies at church or in your neighborhood. It’s harder now with so many women working away from home but it’s so helpful to just meet at a park and visit while the kids play or even have another mom over. Other ladies have sometimes commented to me that they could never handle having a husband travel as much as mine did.
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I know that when I left my husband at home to visit my daughter in another country, he felt very depressed and alone. I was only away for a long weekend, but my husband found it difficult. I can’t imagine how it must be for you in such awful places. Sometimes I think that I’m used to it, that I can get into a routine of him being gone, but at times it’s so lonely and I just can’t stop the tears. I often think that this is not fair, it’s not what I signed up for, and this is not what I was promised. I think I’m in between the phases you talked about.
Eileen Cotter and Christian Wright have been on back-to-back conference calls since they started working from home last week. To avoid conflict, couples should work on establishing boundaries and expectations, like who is going to be in which room and when. Once a month reassess how things are going. Is enough money coming in or do you have to cut back on expenditures? Be honest about how things are really going.
I suppose that comes with having small children anyway. I'm new to this but just need to get out of my system. My husband started working away from home nearly 2 years ago now, just when I'd given birth to our 2nd son.
I’ve probably become quite hard, and definitely stronger than I thought, and often just don’t ask Edd to be here as I know it is difficult for him. That isn’t fair on him either as he has no idea that I’m struggling with flu or that I’ve had to arrange 5 different pick ups just so that I can get to a meeting. Understanding, equal respect in roles that shift on constant basis, and continuous communication remain key to mutual trust.
And at the beginning of my married life, I would have despaired if I had known just how much my husband would be away. It is only the grace of God that has enabled me. I would like to share some things He has taught me along the way. It’s not ideal- having a long-distance relationship a few times a month but it’s the reality for some couples. Here are some things to help you through when you live together but your partner is away regularly.
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